Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.
(Billy Joel, “Honesty”)
Ironically, it’s true – everyone is so untrue. In a Disciple Bible Study group I facilitate we talked about the issue of being vulnerable. And we came to the consensus that being vulnerable comes from being honest. If I tell you my deepest struggle, if I share with you my unspoken dreams, you could use it against me, you could laugh at me, you could even stop loving me. Being honest makes me vulnerable, so I avoid it.
Sometimes we like to say that such issues are just between me and God. Funny thing is, God wouldn’t say that’s the best way to deal with things. We’re called to confess our sins, one to another. We’re called to bear one another’s burdens. God works through others to help us move beyond the deeper struggles and to accomplish our unspoken dreams.
Is there anyone in your life with whom you can be honest? I mean really honest. Who knows that you struggle with materialism – meaning you like stuff, you want stuff, and you try to find ways to get stuff because it makes you feel important or successful or safe? Who knows about your issues with lust and the struggle of an attraction you feel toward a person other than your spouse? Who knows about your addiction to alcohol or gambling? Who knows about your battle against feelings of anger and rage? Is there anyone who knows your dream to write a novel, climb Mount Everest, or start your own business?
Being honest about such things is scary. We don’t want to show our real selves. We don’t want to be vulnerable. We think we’re the only ones struggling with such things. Do you know why we feel that way? Because “everyone is so untrue”. Honesty is risky, but a willingness to be vulnerable can change your life.
What is your deepest struggle? What is your unspoken dream? Who do you have in your life with whom you can be honest?
If you don’t have someone, I encourage you to find someone.
Honestly, it will change your life.
Holy high-five to you,